All things together.

>>> Love.

Well I just woke up from a nightmare. Silly huh. Not really.
Woke up in fear, pain, and sadness... This thing has been bothering me for a while, but I've never thought I would actually dream about it.

All I remember was the husband was asking me if miss M could come over and spend some time with him because she was planning on visiting him. They've never met, they met online and she lives somewhere in the states... I was terrified hearing that. He actually wants to like hook up with her or something! Why? Well they chat very often online and they flirt sometimes (yes I'm sensitive). This isn't part of the dream but once I found the husband messaging M through his cellphone, M asks why he sleeps so late and husband says cuz he didn't get his daily dose of M. That scared me... Maybe I'm being paranoid but, I don't know, that made me sad... I told him about it and he said he'll flirt less *rolleyes*. He's not very flirty in nature (well he did when we just met) with other girls but he does with miss M in particular.

Anyways, so after he told me the news, I was shocked. I was sobbing and crying saying how dare he had thuoght of meeting another woman blahblahblah. The seeting of the dream was in my chinese classroom with all my ex-classmates. I remembered I was crying a lot and shouted at him that if he wants he can go, I don't care since she's more important and you think about her more. After that it was the cold war. He didn't speak much, obviously he was mad at me (so he does really wanna see her huh!). The whole class was weird. The atmosphere was weird. Nobody really cared about me crying, people seemed to ignore my pain, and I had to find some people to talk to about my story... Lonelyness. I felt that my friends in this classroom were just a bunch of spectators.

I remember a few scenes of me wanderin around, crying sobbing again, and somehow I thought of the people I used to love/crush. Somehow I was thinking of my ex. i had hurt him at the end of the relationship, but he was hurting me during our relationship. Mr.ex was also crying and sobbing when I said I wanted to break up, I felt pity but I know he's not the man for me. (cough, anyways). I expressed my sadness and apologized to Mr.Ex during my dream. He wasn't there though, I just wrote how I felt on paper. This scence was kinda random.

In the end, when I went back in the classroom, I saw the husband staring at me and I was trying to avoid him. But he finally came up to em and said sorry, that he wouldn't say those things again because he knows it hurts me, and that being so silly for the fact that he was interested in another girl. That he needs me more, that spending time with her online was a waste(?) of time because it kept him from doing important things first (he's always chatting with her).
I remember I felt some happiness sparkling in my heart, that I was gona accept his apologies. I'm always so soft and smoochy to the heart, I forgive people no matter what their sins were.

Still hugging me and talking to me in a soft voice, I woke up to this reality. I looked next to me hoping to see the husband but he had already gone to work. I felt really sad sudenly, felt like I feel in the pit of lonelyness. My heart was in pain... fear of losing him and the sadness of his betrayal.

Really this is all silly stuff, it's just a dream but all this is what I fear in me. Jealousy is not a sin. It's what you act out of it...
I don't have a good image of miss M. She likes to flirt a lot with many guys and it disturbs me that she chose the husband as one of her toys to kill time. I've never talked to her before but, I can feel her evil aura. Her intentions.
This girl pops in my head few times a day, or once every few days. I wish she could just dissapear. *throws confetti and dances*

Overreacting? Sorry =/ If he was close to one of my girlfriends I wouldn't mind because I know them, but this M is an eyesore.

That concludes my nightmare...
Why do I keep writting long posts. Makes me not want to read this, oh you too?